Continuing to get to know my Twin Flame...

As I continued to get to know my Twin Flame, things became difficult... I am not the person to jump into anything but with this man all I wanted was him... I, when I look back, was obsessing over this person... why though? He wasn't my type at all.... I was a cute girl that had multiple very good looking men chasing me but I didn't even want to talk to those other men.... I was having a very difficult time because my Twin would tell me he only wanted to have sex yet, he would have these thoughts about us doing different family things.... At the time I thought, my thoughts I were more my own thoughts than his. But I would see us basically being married, going to church, school events, making dinner.. Now mind you, during this time this man, told me over and over and over again about how much he LOVED being alone and he didn't want anything more than SEX because he happy being alone and had some challenged relationships in the past.... But that isn't what I was seeing or feeling which made me feel like a crazy person... It was like I could feel him in my mind.. Well that sounds odd, let me try to explain, better... He would randomly pop into my mind and I would experience a thought that just didn't seem or feel like mine... For example, one day I was minding my own business and BAM in my head he is purposing to me... Like I mentioned before I was just getting out of a 20 year marriage and lets say I have soured on the idea of marriage, and I DO NOT want to get married again even to this man I can't stop thinking about! So it was all very odd for me, but again I didn't understand this connection yet and just thought I might be a crazy person... Here was another thing that happened, I made an off color comment about how much money I made, and then it was like I could feel him thinking about that all the time... In fact, I felt like he got pissed about it... But I didn't understand that at all, and again wrote it off as me being a crazy person again...

Then I had a whole crazy woman moment, where I dropped the "love" word after a only knowing this man after 2 months! Again, not something I would do... I was just getting out of a 20 year marriage! I hadn't been with any other man beside my husband my entire adult life... I didn't understand my feelings or thoughts, so I, pushed him for more.... he was kind and didn't push me away right away... But then the night came I needed to stand in my power... I told him, that for our birthdays we were going to watch a movie... and do more than just sex... I gave him an ultimatum, either we meet and watch a movie or I disappear... I gave him until the morning to respond... Shocking, he didn't respond within the time period.... SO I said my goodbye ... It was kind and not mean, but that I was letting go... About 7 hours later, this man responded with the most shit response I think he could mustard.. Soooooo I responded the way an unmedicated ADHD would ... I told him how it was ... I gave him the business! I matched his energy for sure and told him all the things I was thinking (which now I know where his thoughts too)... When I did this, I could feel something I hadn't felt before it was like a shutting down feeling, like almost a fear... Like, he was almost scared by how I knew all the things he was thinking... I had not felt that before in our connection.. Am I proud when I look back no, but is it what was needed, yes... I needed to grow and so did he but again I didn't understand what that was at the time... I deleted all his contact info and everything....That should have been the end right there... But later that night, did I find his contact info in my deleted box, yep!!!! I sure did!!! What did I do after that! I dropped my childhood drama on him!!! All of it, things know one knows... It was a painful experience and I shared it all with him... I wanted him to know that all of us have gone through shit but we can all make it ... Is that how he saw it??? NO!!! He looked at me as someone that was trying to fix him! Like I looked at him like he was broken!!! That was not the point I was trying to make at all... but he sent me one last message letting me know he was blocking me from his life....And he did! Blocked me on everything, even ebay! (LOL, that one still makes me giggle) I was very taken back by this outcome... It hurt in a way I couldn't even explain... and Never thought would happen. It felt like a piece of me had be pulled away, like part of me was missing then the fear, sadness, shock, pain, and so many more emotions began to set in.. What did I do next??? ...to be continued... Our time in separation....