Understanding My Awakening

Back to me starting to understand my awakening... I began to do research... during the time of completing research on Twin Flames, I learned about the different dynamics and it was like a textbook example of what I was experiencing... I was shocked at all the things that were true... like all the things I said or thought I was experiencing were happening!!! This was actually really difficult for me process like I have already mentioned but still they were in fact happening or I thought they were happening...

1 - Psychic Connection - This was the first thing that happened to me... It was like I thought something else was happening then what my Twin was telling me was happening... Like he told me only wanted sex... Yet it was like I was feeling and seeing his thoughts, which were much different... it was like building a family and enjoying time together ...

2 - Intense Attraction - Once my twin and I had taken the step towards one another it was like we couldn't keep our hands off one another when we were together (which also triggered the 3rd thing on the list for my Twin). My twin felt overwhelmed by our connection when we weren't together but when we were together it was like the whole world revolved around us... And well the sex was NEXT level.... I have never felt anything more passionate, intense, and pleasureful in my life....

3 - Emotional Triggering - This was the third that happened for us... No matter what I did or said even the smallest thing seemed to trigger my twin and him being triggered, triggered my fear of being abandoned...

4 - Mirroring - I started to notice that although very different, we also mirrored different faults... One was over spending... My twin and I both WAY over spent on our hobby just to see one another... That we both pulled away when triggered by things, minus me with with him, because that triggered by feeling of abandonment but outside of that we both pulled away from the world... We both had childhood traumas ... we both had adult traumas... we both shared the mental health condition of bipolar...

5 - A deep understanding - When my twin and I were together we didn't actually talk much... it was almost like we didn't have too... I could feel his pain and it was like he could feel mine... He could also feel that I was still living in a fantasy world and again this was triggering for him.

6 - Amplified Insecurities and Doubts - Although I already mentioned triggering I am going to put this in a category all by itself because there are really no words to describe how impactful this part was to my relationship with my Twin... For example, for my twin when I mentioned how much money I made, he instantly went inwarded and thought endless that he wasn't good enough, which he has never told me, but I could feel it... When he pulled away from me my insecurity about losing him was through the roof and I made a real ass of myself; leading to our seperation...

7 - Separation - Typically I see people describe separation as a time of healing and deepening of understanding and yes that does happen but also separation isn't always rainbows and butterflies... For our first separation it was difficult and painful at least for me. I started do a bunch of things that were not good for me because I didn't understand what was happening... It wasn't until I began to let go of my twin did he finally come back, and were either of us ready for that? Nope...

8 - Dreaming and telepathy - This started pretty early in the connection however I didn't understand it until much later... I would have dreams and wake up many mornings between 3am and 5am... I know this sounds weird, but it was almost like I could hear his voice when he spoke out loud and also tell the difference if he was just thinking things... Example, one day it was like in my head I heard "Fuck Dawn" like clear as day and it actually startled me, because it sounded like he was in the room with me... But other times, I would experience sudden and intense flash thoughts that didn't seem to be things I would normally think about...

9 - Unconditional Love - This has been the strangest thing for me to experience... I mean I clearly have unconditional love for my children so I understand the concept but for some random person, by all accounts I kind of just met, that was another thing... It was like no matter how shittie he was to me or how crazy I acted to him... we couldn't stay away from only another...

10 - Good and Bad Fortuntion - Now this one, I don't see many bloggers discuss but I think it is important to mention, because I always experience it... like all the FREAKING TIME... Example, If I am doing something good like healing and it is bring me closer to my Twin some of the coolest things will happen... But when I do things like spend time with a Karmic or Drink, in a sense doing things that keep us apart, the worst things will happen...

Ok back to my awakening understanding, as I saw all the textbook things happening with my twin.. I read about the divine feminine and masculine! Well this understanding really is what made me realize and finally accept what was happening...